During my morning meditation today, I had an interesting experience of feeling shame come up around what I desire.
It was almost like a sadness, a feeling of embarrassment for wanting what I want in my life.
Have you ever felt that way yourself? That you didn’t DARE share what you ACTUALLY wanted for fear of actually expressing what your TRUE DESIRE was?
When I get really honest with myself, this has definitely been something that has held me back and caused many problems in my life.
For many years, I suppressed my true desires in order to give other people what they wanted. People-pleasing at it’s finest!
I learned that it was not only NOT OKAY for me to have my own desires, but that it was WRONG, BAD or even SHAMEFUL to have them.
I learned that I couldn’t TRUST my desires, and therefore, I couldn’t trust MYSELF.
This is quite possibly the most DAMAGING limiting belief that I have found to be very common to probably almost 100% of my clients over the years. ESPECIALLY when it comes to money goals, lifestyle goals, self-care goals, love, relationships, and self-expression.
I don’t know about you, but all my problems began when I stopped trusting myself and stopped being true to who I really am.
My focus became centered on “who I thought I needed to be” for everyone else, rather than “who I TRULY am.”
I shamed myself for my goals and desires and spend much of my life running away from my truth, sabotaging myself and disconnecting from my true desires.
What about you?
How often do you sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself about what you TRULY desire?
What has been buried underneath layers and layers of expectations, people-pleasing, and what you think you SHOULD be doing with your life?
What would happen if you gave yourself FULL PERMISSION to OWN what you truly want?
If you’re like me, it might come up with a little bit of embarrassment at first.
“Is it REALLY OKAY for me ask for what I want?!”
“I feel selfish, vain, self-centered, greedy, indulgent and high-maintenance if I were to REALLY say what it is I want!!”
But the truth is, that these are only judgements. They are only limiting beliefs that come up which — for my clients, has created a life of putting their goals, dreams and desires last which leaves them feeling disgruntled, dissatisfied, and disconnected from the truth of who they really are.
Giving yourself what you need and owning your desires is a CRUCIAL part of stepping into and OWNING your full power.
It means you ALIGN YOURSELF to the bigger dreams that reside in your heart.
It means you get to take care of yourself FIRST in order to become the best version of yourself — and that has an INCREDIBLE IMPACT on the people you’re meant to help and serve in your life.
It means you can FINALLY feel good about yourself and who you are.
When you FULLY OWN what it is you TRULY WANT… you also have to give yourself PERMISSION TO RECEIVE it.
Even if it feels a bit awkward and uncomfortable at first.
I’ve learned to allow the shame and the embarrassment to come up so that I can explore it and learn what it is here to teach me.
Much of my shame and embarrassment comes up because I never felt good enough, and it is wrong or bad for me to focus on myself because I used to believe it was selfish. It has been a long journey and as much as I have owned and stepped into my true authentic self over the years, I am still learning how to fully accept and love ALL parts of me.
It takes courage to truly own what you want and be who you truly are.
The world will not always accept and love all parts of you, or understand your goals, dreams and desires.
They might not get it or understand.
You might be judged, mocked, or criticized.
They might judge you for being too much, wanting too much… they might criticize you and demand, “why can’t you just be happy for what you have!?!!”
These fears were what were buried underneath the shame and were what blocked me for so many years.
But the difference today is that I can acknowledge it and allow myself to move through it.
The lesson for me is to realize that the shame acts as a kind of “protective” mechanism— because it wants to keep me safe from being hurt, judged, made fun of or rejected.
When I give it a voice, and allow it to be… what I find is that the shame and embarrassment drops away to reveal deeper layers of acceptance and love for myself.
So if you are encountering some shame or embarrassment around who you are and what you TRULY DESIRE for yourself and your life…. SAY IT WITH ME:
I fully own that there is nothing wrong with my desires.
My true self is good, pure, loving and trustworthy.
I can trust the desires of my heart.
I give myself FULL PERMISSION to OWN what I want for my life.
My goals and dreams are GOOD and allow me to become the BEST VERSION of myself, for the Highest Good of all!
My desires come from within, and I can trust myself to follow the path of my heart.
When I FULLY TRUST and OWN MY DESIRES, I empower myself to become the best version of myself and create my epic dream life doing what I love— for the good of myself and the world!!!
What goals, dreams and desires are you are ready to own for yourself today?
xo LL